Hawaii 1-0

Well, now that you've been properly introduced to Maui and have had time to digest some of its beauty, I am going to grace you with more details of my glorious vacation =)

I have to include fourteen days of fabulous-ness into a blog, so get ready. DO.NOT. BLINK!

Here we go...

My first real memory of being on a plane was of the time I traveled to Paris, France for a week trip with my french class in tenth grade. That would have been 1996, so 14 years ago! Wow. Anyway, if my memory serves me correctly we took off in a 747. It was the most amazing plane - I didn't even feel like we were flying. On the way home, I remember one of my friends was spazzing out because there was another plane off in the distance. I guess he thought it was going to hit us. I was so calm! I loved flying!

Fast forward five years to my junior year in college when I set off to study abroad in Paris. Big plane again, but this time a 777. I loved riding in luxury! The back of the seats had television screens so we could choose our own entertainment. Then my next flight was to Texas, and it was in a smaller plane. I didn't much care for it. I wanted the big plane with the five seats in the middle and 2 on each side. Next trip: Jamaica. Same thing, small plane! Jamaica round two: small plane! Soooooo when I climbed into our big 777 that would take us to Hawaii I almost sang out loud! It was majestic! And even better? The plane was only about half-full! My husband and I had an entire middle row to ourselves. Wa-freaking-hoo! Again, I barely knew we were lfying for most of the flight. This was due in part to the fact that big planes are like Lincoln's, you can hardly feel any bumps, but it was mostly due to the fact that I had taken a BONINE earlier that day and passed out almost immediately after take-off. There were no individual screens, but there was quite an array of music, courtesy of zune. I loved every minute of that flight. Except for when the pilot came on to say we had been rerouted due to storms and that we had a little bit of extra fuel...but not much. Why would he say that? We were going to HAWAII...across the Pacific Ocean!!! With nowhere to stop once flying over California!!! I really think he should have kept that bit of information to himself. Totally unnecessary.

Anyway, upon arriving in Hawaii and claiming our bags and rental car, we headed for the resort at Ka'anapali Shores with a quick stop at K-Mart for food supplies. Once at the condo resort, we checked in and were very pleasantly surprised by the condo we were given. Oceanfront with an oceanview from all windows! Feeling too tired to do any cooking, we dined at the resort restaurant where I had a delicious plate of chicken Marsala. It was at bedtime that my husband discovered he has poison ivy, so to separate beds we went. That loft came in mighty handy, I tell ya!

Our first full day in Maui had us scheduled the Old Lahaina Luau in the evening, so we spent the day at the beach right in front of our condo. The luau proved to be better than the last time we had gone four years ago. We sat with a family from Jacksonville, FL that seemed to be pretty nice, until the two teenagers opened their mouths. I couldn't believe how rude they were to their parents, especially in the company of other people. I mean, come on, your parents cart your sorry butt across the damn country for a Hawaiian vacation and you can't even act like you respect them? Ludicrous! I drank more than my share of Mai Tai's and even threw in a few Lava Flow's. De-Lish! I woke up in th emiddle of the night super dehydrated, but the bonus was that I got to watch four drunken swimmers almost drown in the Pacific Ocean. The following day was another relaxing beach day, which I used to read and listen to the calming sound of the ocean. The following day was quite an outdoor adventure, and I'll tell you ALL about it tomorrow but not without leaving you with a couple clues. See if you can identify the places shown in the pictures below:

Maui Wowie

You are very lucky to be reading this right now (wink!), because it means I didn't decide to stay in Maui and try my hand at living there. But I really came close to refusing to get on the plane. Three times. But here I am, back home, with highway sounds coming in through the windows instead of ocean sounds. Oh. Well. I couldn't have afforded to live in Maui, anyway. We talked to a couple from New England that had moved to Maui 8 years ago with a plan to live there for 6 months. 8 years later....they are still living there. The guy is an underwater photographer of some really amazing stuff: turtles, humpback whales, tropical fish, etc. They live in a three-bedroom apartment with four other people and their share of the rent is $1750. Waaaaaay more than my monthly mortgage payment (and car and groceries and utilities all put together!). We talked briefly about switching our house with their apartment room for a year until I realized that I couldn't tolerate four other people living in my space. If I was still in my college years or early twenties, maybe, but I'm so settled in my ways I don't think I would deal well with unfamiliar people sharing my living space. I have enough of a difficult time sharing space with strangers at the grocery store, and that only occurs once a week. So to the mainland I returned. Still, if I had the right offer...

Anyway, I was in Maui vacationing for two glorious weeks due to the kindness and generosity of my in-laws. Yup, that's right. My in-laws. I REALLY lucked out with my husband's parents. They are very much like my own parents and it is very easy to get along with them. I had a great time in Maui.

The resort we stayed in had beachfront condos, and WE STAYED IN ONE OF THOSE. Penthouse, probably, on the fourth floor. I cannot describe the interior of this condo in a way that would do it justice, but it was decorated in an Asian/ocean motif with original paintings and tile mosaics, as well as with ancient artifacts and wood carvings. I almost laughed at myself each time I placed something of mine into the safe before venturing downstairs to the beach. Almost nothing I own could match the value of the items in that condo.





I hear Jennifer Aniston recently bought a place in Maui, and I know Oprah, Tiger Woods, and Michael Jordan all have quite expansive sprawls there, too. If only we were friends...But really that is actually causing quite a bit of distress in Maui. According to the locals we had the privilege of meeting, celebrities and other obscenely wealthy people are buying up Maui land that could be (and has been) used for farming and ranching and are building massive vacation homes on them that they only stay in for a few weeks a year. One would think that it's a good thing, boosting Maui's economy and all. But according to the locals it's making living there nearly impossible especially for native Hawaiians because if the land disappears so does work, and the price tags on the compounds drives up real estate costs making land/house ownership unachievable. There is no middle class there anymore, just the filthy rich and the dirt poor. This is really very sad, but we've become a nation of people who place importance on celebrities and professional athletes and that's where all the money goes. It's very unfortunate. In fact, my husband and I noticed almost immediately after leaving the airport in Maui that there has been a lot of development since we last visited four years ago. It has become very commercial, which definitely takes away from the pristine natural beauty that beckons so many visitors.

I'll probably be devoting the next couple of entries to Maui because we did and saw so much that I have to go slow so that you can fully appreciate the wow-ness of Maui! The photos are incredible.

Sand, dirty water, and excessive heat and I wasn't even at the beach!

I went to the gym today and decided to swim since it was hot outside. I should have known better. I put my foot in the water and began my descent down the stairs. Something gritty crunched under my foot. What the hell was that?, I thought. A look down told me it was a pile of sand, which was weird because there is no sand at the gym. I made my way in further and swam under the ropes to the farthest lane. I pulled on my training fins, grabbed my board, and looked down. Three more piles of sand. Huh? I kicked down to the deep end and stopped to adjust my right fin. I looked down. More sand. This is the same gym that wants to start charging an annual fee of $50 per couple. Dudes, you can't even maintain the friggin' pool! I ignored the sand, kept my feet off the bottom, and finished my swim. After a nice, long, mildewy shower under a trickling faucet (hence the long shower to rinse the shampoo out of my hair - I didn't even attempt conditioner), I dressed and went upstairs for my scheduled massage. In a sauna. Oh yes, it was so hot in there I could barely breathe. There was a fan circulating air, but no air conditioner. Because it's been broken. All damn summer. But I keep hearing promises of relief and supposedly parts have been ordered and bids taken, and BLAH BLAH BLAH! If you're gonna charge me an extra fee outside of my contract agreement you need to do a better job trying to keep me happy!!! Clean the pool, install a working air conditioner, and act like you want to keep me, the customer, happy! Grrrr!!!

Shop till you drop

I woke up this morning with a yearning for the outlet mall. Actually, it was less of a yearning and more of a call of necessity - they had something there that I needed for this upcoming weekend. So rather than make it seem like a chore, as all shopping usually is for women - NOT! - I made the mistake of asking my husband to come with me. His reply? He doesn't really like shopping and he didn't want me to get aggravated with him right before this glorious upcoming weekend. A very smart man my husband is! So I dialed a friend, set plans, and away we went. I hadn't been to the outlets in a couple years, so naturally I forgot how to get there on my own and needed to enlist the assistance of my trusty Garmin. To this day I still don't know how I previously survived on just printouts from Map-quest.

We parked and made our way toward the stores. Under Armour was our first stop. I bought a cute and very functional pair of athletic socks. At the register, I asked the cashier for directions to the store I was looking for which had been mentioned to me by a friend. This is where it gets a little bit funny. The cashier hadn't ever heard of that store, so she gave me a map. I scrolled down the list of shoe stores. Crap! No KEEN store! For a second I chastised myself for taking off on a trip without first checking the information I received. I desperately needed these specific brand of shoes for an upcoming expedition of sorts. (My husband did as well, but he agreed to have me take a picture of a pair I thought he might like, assess sizes, and send the picture to him via phone at which point he would confirm or deny the purchase). As for those of you who are not aware of the KEEN shoe, check them out here. They make a supposedly amazing and functional water/land shoe that works for all water and land activities, including hiking. I called home and relayed the disappointing information to my husband, at which he laughed and said, "Thank GOD I didn't go with you." I drove 50 miles for something that didn't exist, but I wasn't going to let that get me down - there was other shopping to be done!

We meandered among shops, finally stopping for lingerie (guys can stop reading here if the topic makes you uncomfortable). Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I hate bras. They are so uncomfortable. I am always aware of their presence on my body, and with each inhale and exhale I am reminded of their restrictive existence. Nonetheless, I bought 3. Hey, a bargain's a bargain. A few minutes later we stumbled upon a Skechers store, so we strolled in. Low and behold in front of me I saw a replica of the KEEN shoe. Downside? They only had it in men's. I took a picture, sent it to my husband, and awaited his reply. He wanted them. So I snatched his size and proceeded to the register where the kind cashier lady reminded me that all shoes were buy one get one half off. There were no similar shoes in women's sizes, so I scooped up a pair of casual work shoes for $15 and out the door we went. Only to come upon a store with a KEEN shoe on display! We quickly scampered in and Hallelujahs rang out loud. Or at least they did in my head. Many, many minutes of deliberating and "I don't know" s resulted in a purchase of cute and comfy sandal-like shoes for moi, which were almost 3 times the cost of my husband's. I didn't buy him KEENs because there was a no refund, exchange only, policy. And the shoes were $85!

It was a successful trip after all! Even though a specific KEEN store did not exist, one that sold KEENs did. So I left the outlets happy yet poorer. But I am happy with my KEENs. So far. We'll see if they live up to their reputation shortly ;)

Vacation Elation

In case you might have been wondering why my blogs stopped so abruptly last Friday, it's because I was away on vacation. Every year my husband and I try to make it up to the Adirondacks with his family for a week of relaxation, fun, laughs, and the unexpected surprise. This year held many surprises for us: Two people from our "party" got engaged on a hike, the cabin we stay in is now under new ownership and management (this will forever be know as 'The Year of Rod' - I'll explain later!), and we sort of witnessed a shipwreck if you count a large speed boat crashing into a giant gaggle of sharp rocks as such. Other things happened in between, so I'm gonna do my best to break it down for ya.

Day one was pretty uneventful, so we'll categorize it as being on the more relaxing side of vacation. We spent the afternoon lounging on Adirondack chairs down by the beach with our books and some bologna sandwiches. There was a breeze blowing off the lake, so it was a good thing I remembered to pack my Snuggie (well, it's really a leopard print Cozee, but same idea). As the sun set behind the mountains on the far end of the lake we cuddled against our Cozees and snapped pictures. A loon popped out of the water in front of the dock and and then swam about a quarter mile underwater before popping up again. These birds are so amazing! Could you imagine swimming and running into a loon underwater? I would jump right out of my bathing suit!

Day two also began with a lazy day at the beach, bikini on and book in hand. Jay kayaked out to Fifth Lake and back to Rocky Point and the far islands with his mom. Ballerina Island looked deserted so he jumped out and took a peek at the seemingly abandoned cottage, only to find it occupied the following day! Good thing he wasn't caught... Our friends Brett and Raea arrived from Boston in the early evening, just in time for some delicious camping dinner of I can't remember what! But it was good.

Day three started with a yoga session on the beach with Raea as our instructor. (Thank you, Raea!) What a relaxing as well as invigorating way to begin a day! I felt awake, refreshed, and peaceful all at once. After a hearty breakfast of eggs, toast, fruit, Raea's delicious muffins, and other assorted pastries, the eight of us headed out to hike up Bald Mountain. Once at the top, Jay and Raea impressed us (and scared us!) with risky yoga poses on cliff sides and a rock that is perched ever so carefully on the edge of the mountain. After a brief stay at the summit, we headed back down. The gang in front of Raea and I headed off on the wrong trail, so Jay came back to get us and we were glad to meet everyone back at the car. The trails are not always clearly marked, and since some people blaze their own trails you really have to keep your eye out for the tree markers. I would NOT want to get lost in the Adirondacks for several reasons including bears, mountain lions, and hillbillies, but also because you might make your way to Canada before finding your way out. And I am seriously afraid of dark woods and scary noises. Have you seen The Village? Anyway, we got back to the cottage safely and shoveled homemade black bean salsa (divine!) into our hungry mouths and headed out to Buck Hollow on Seventh Lake for some beach time. The boys swam and snorkeled while the girls chilled on the beach with books, magazine, and gossip. Later, after our BBQ-style dinner we joined the beach campfire and met a lovely family from Rochester. I love meeting new people (as long as they're nice!)!

Day four started with a too-early wake-up, followed by another hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast, as well as fruit and homemade pastries. Then six of us headed out in kayaks to explore the boat channel, fifth lake, and outlet to sixth lake. We encountered what we thought was a family of baby loons, only to find out later that they were probably mergansers. It was Raea's first time in a kayak and she was still getting the hang of paddling, so when she drifted in the direction of the birds, they started running on water and continued like that for about 100 yards. It was a riot to see! At the creek we found crayfish everywhere, so we made it a short stop and headed back. Once back on Fourth Lake the guys headed out to the islands and us girls headed back to camp. The lake was windy and choppy at this point and paddling was becoming more challenging against the wind. Plus I have this irrational and unfounded fear of deep, dark water so I was glad that others wanted to go back. Once back at the beach we laid towels out, stripped down to our bathing suits, and read and talked while the boys played and snorkeled in the the lake just as if they were ten again! Later, Jay and Raea entertained us with challenging yoga poses, like the crow and crane, on the beach. We ate dinner at the Red Dog (formerly Kirsty's) and said goodbye to Brett and Raea since they were leaving to go visit family in Syracuse. I spent a relaxing night inside the camp curled up on a couch with a cup of hot tea and a book. Life really doesn't get much better than that!

Day five introduced us to the riotously funny world of Rod, the new manager at the camp. While our morning was spent lazily soaking in the early rays of sun on the deck and beach, our friends Devon and Mike got engaged at the top of Rocky Mountain! That was so exciting. However, the joy didn't last long as Devon was later called with orders from the Air Force to report back to base in California ASAP for a potential deployment to Pakistan. (Today I found out she was not deployed.) Dinner was spent out on the picnic table again, lake in background, with Rod as entertainer! He made reference to the fact that he's never felt like a white person, made mention of the movie The Jerk, and told us he didn't really perceive us as white people.We went with the flow and learned a lot about his upbringing on Saranac Lake, especially references to his father. One of my favorites was when my father-in-law apologized for the pork loin being a little on the tough side and Rod responded that when he was a kid and someone would complain about tough meat, his father would say something like, "Well it'd be a whole lot g-damn tougher if you didn't have any." I almost laughed myself right off the picnic bench and SWORE that I would find some way to use that again. This time doesn't count. There were other quick stories of drinking whiskey as an altar boy before mass and forgetting to ring the bells with Patty O'Brien. I especially liked when he said he came home after being away for awhile and he was wearing a nice, clean white shirt (he had always had hand-me-downs as a kid) and his family looked at him and said, "What's yer deal?" Cracked me right up! He also told a completely crass joke about how to tell if a girl from Virginia is a virgin, but I don't feel comfortable typing that on here. Then he said his sister was so tough she'd have a chain saw in one hand and beat your ass with the other! Loved it! Who needs television when you're around a funny person?

Day six entailed a drive in to Old Forge followed by shopping, lunch at Tony Harper's pizza and clam shack (I had a turkey sandwich), and a visit to The Strand for the movie Inception (an entry all by itself, I'm afraid!). We had dinner with Rod again out on the picnic tables and enjoyed some homemade pie from Screamen Eagle. I was so full and tired that all I could bring myself to do was plop down on the couch and read for the rest of the evening before turning in.

Our last full day of vacation was cold and windy! There were white caps on the lake so we couldn't kayak. Instead we opted for a hike up Rocky Mountain, which was beautiful with period of strong, cold winds and some drizzly rain. Jay did his yoga poses at the top for a potential Christmas card picture. Mountain air can really make you tired, and we sure were when we got back from our hike! Several of us napped until dinner, which ended up being at The Red Dog again. Jay of course ordered nachos, but at least he split them with his dad. Trav, on the other hand, came very close to finishing the entire platter on his own. I later heard talk of flatulence down by the lake, but didn't ask for clarification. My thoughts were with his girlfriend Bethany that night. Some of us walked to Northern Lights for an ice cream treat, and then it was back to the cabin for some serious crocheting and rewriting of the lyrics to Piano Man. We pinned completely inappropriate things to Rod's clothesline, all in good fun of course, and enjoyed a beautiful sunset of dark blue, purple, and magenta! I've never seen anything like it before. A raccoon got into one of the garbage cans and there was a drunken mother-daughter fight in the cabin next door. It was a challenge running back and forth to observe both events, but both were well worth it. Jerry Springer LIVE and Man vs. Wild all rolled into one night!



On day eight we mass-cleaned the cabin and read/gave the new lyrics to Rod. I think I saw a tear or two in his eye before he dished out hugs. He really was a nice guy and we hope to see him next year. We ate a quick buffet breakfast at The Woods Inn, said our goodbyes, and headed for home. We did, however, manage to sneak in a stop at the Moose River to sun our legs and recap the week's events. Some guys were swimming in their undies, so we were entertained as well!

I LOVE SUMMER!