Pumpkins are better than men

versus

Today I went to a John Edward (psychic, not politician) event. I volunteer at a venue in downtown Syracuse, so I not only got to watch for free but I had the opportunity to be a microphone runner. Such an interesting experience.

On the way home, I heard the end of a radio joke about how pumpkins are better than men.

1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.

2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.

3. One usually makes a better pie.

4. They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!

5. If you don’t like the way he looks, you just carve up another face.

6. If he starts smelling up your place, you can just throw him out.

7. From the start you know a pumpkin has an empty, mush filled head to begin with.

8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when you want him to be.

As funny as some of these might be, I can probably think of 8 reasons why men are better than pumpkins.

1. Pumpkins can't love you back.

2. Pumpkins aren't good cuddlers.

3. Pumpkins won't warm up your bed on a cold winter night.

4. Pumpkins can't give you children.

5. Pumpkins can't give you a kiss goodnight.

6. Pumpkins can't have a conversation with you (if yours can, that's an entirely different issue)

7. Pumpkins can't help you navigate through life's tough moments (unless you can throw your pumpkin at someone or something)

8. Pumpkins can't give you a lifetime of cherished memories.

Pumpkins are seasonal and usually overstay their welcome. Not many people want to see a pumpkin past Halloween, and Thanksgiving is pushing it (especially if there is an early snowfall). Pumpkins can't dry your tears, comfort a bruised heart, or offer a hug. Pumpkins can't build decks, remodel kitchens, or repair broken pipes.

I'd take my man over a pumpkin any day.